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Score of The Wild West Show
This is mainly a series of recitations with the audience singing a little chorus between each one.

CHORUS:
Oh we're off to see the Wild West Show,
The elephant and the kangaroo,
Never mind the weather, as long as we're together,
We're off to see the Wild West Show.

Recitation begins:
And in the first marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the oomegoolie bird.
Audience astonished reaction:
The oomigoolie bird? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Reciter:
Yes ladies and gentlemen the oomigoolie bird. Now the oomigoolie bird flies at a very great height but has very short legs and every time it comes in to land it shouts "Oo me goolies, Oo me goolies"!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the Fuckawi tribe.
Audience astonished reaction:
The fuckarewee tribe? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Reciter:
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Fuckawi tribe. Now the three-foot Fuckawi tribe lives in deepest Africa where the grass is four feet high and comes up over their eyes! They run wildly through the tall grass, agitating their spears and shields, and shouting, "Where the fuck are we? Where the fuck are we?"

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the hippopotarmus
The hippopotarmus? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen the hippopotarmus is an amazing animal. When its eyes are open its arsehole is closed. And when its eyes are closed its arsehole is open. Someone threw pepper in its eyes, and - Christ he's got diarrhoea!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the giraffe.
The giraffe? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the giraffe is an amazing animal. It is the only animal in the jungle that can go into a bar and say, "The high balls are on me!"

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the sphinx.
The sphinx? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the sphinx is an amazing animal. It is the only animal with a triangular arsehole. It shits bricks, hence the Pyramids!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the tight-skinned lizard.
The tight-skinned lizard? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the tight-skinned lizard is an amazing animal. Whenever it blinks it fucks itself. Someone threw pepper in its eyes, and it fucked itself to death!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the rhinosorarse.
The rhinosorarse? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the rhinosorarse is an amazing animal. Its name comes from the ancient Greek, rhino meaning money, sorarse meaning piles. It is the richest animal in the jungle: it has piles and piles of money!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the oo-ah bird.
The oo-ah bird? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the oo-ah bird is an amazing bird. The male species lives in the North Pole, the female species lives in the South Pole. In spring they migrate, and when they meet, oooooohh aahhhhh!
Alternatively: Yes ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately the oo-ah bird lays square eggs!
CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the elephant.
The elephant? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the elephant is an amazing animal. It eats twelve hours a day, but only shits once a week. And when it shits it ... Move away there, please, sonny ... As I was saying, it eats all the week and only shits . . . Please move away, sonny . . . And when it shits it shits! . . .a loud farting noise... Has anyone got a shovel?

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the orangutan.
The orangutan? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the orangutan is an amazing animal. It has balls of steel, and as it swings from vine to vine through the jungle, its balls clang together. They go orang-a-tang, orang-a-tang!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the mountain goat.
The mountain goat? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the mountain goat is an amazing animal. It farts and jumps from crag to crag, and from precipice to precipice, and then back to piss again. It has science baffled, as to whether the farts make it jump, or the jumps make it fart!

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the kee-kee bird.
The kee-kee bird? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the kee-kee bird is an amazing bird. It lives in the arctic and loves to slide down icebergs flicking up it's tail feathers and shouting "kee-kee-rist it's cold, kee-kee-rist its cold!"

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the leopard.
The leopard? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the leopard is an amazing animal. It has 365 spots, one for each day of the year. Wot's that, lady? That's right. George, lift its tail, and show the lady leap-year.

CHORUS:

And in the next marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have wild cat.
The wild cat? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Wild Cat is an amazing animal. It ain't got no arsehole that's what makes it so bloody wild!

CHORUS:

And in the nest marvelous gilded cage ladies and gentlemen we have the orifitsi bird.
The orifitsi bird? Faaan-TAS-tic!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen the orifitsi bird. Now the orifitsi bird in order to baffle its foes flies up its fundamental orifice from which safe but unsanitary position it hurls shit and corruption at its enemy.

There are many more.
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