There's some seagulls round a lighthouse in Mobile,
There's some seagulls round a lighthouse in Mobile,
There's some seagulls round a lighthouse,
And they use it as a shite house,
Now the lighthouse is a white house in Mobile.
CHORUS:
In Mobile, in Mobile,
In Mo, in Mo, in Mo, in Mobile.
There's some seagulls round a lighthouse,
And they use it as a shite house,
Now the lighthouse is a white house in Mobile.
Oh, the eagles, they fly high in Mobile,
(repeat)
Oh, the eagles, they fly high,
And they shit right in your eye.
It's a good job cows don't fly in Mobile.
CHORUS:
There's a shortage of good whores in Mobile,
(repeat)
There's a shortage of good whores,
But there's keyholes in the doors,
And there's knotholes in the floors in Mobile.
CHORUS:
Then follows many verses in the same vein interspersed with the chorus:
All the girls they wear tin pants,
But they take 'em off to dance,
Every buggar get his chance in Mobile.
All the girls they wear no undies,
But they take 'em off on Sundays
You should see the boys on Mondays in Mobile.
There's a shortage of good bogs,
So they wait until it clogs,
Then they saw it off in logs in Mobile
There's a shortage of bog paper,
So they wait until it's vapour,
Then they light it with a taper in Mobile.
There's a dirty great fucking Yank,
Every time he has a wank,
Fills a static water tank in Mobile.
Oh the vicar is a bugger,
And the curate is another,
And they bugger one another in Mobile.
There's a Nancy boy called Hunt,
And he thinks he's got a cunt,
Cos' his arseholes's back to front in Mobile.
There's a Nancy boy called West,
And he thinks he's got a breast,
Cos his balls are on his chest in Mobile.
Oh, I chased a parson's daughter,
And I shagged her when I caught her,
Now I cannot pass my water in Mobile
It can eventually degenerate into these verses sung to the same tune:
Oh she's got a lovely bottom set of teeth,
(repeat)
Oh she's got a lovely bottom, a lovely, lovely bottom,
She's got a lovely bottom set of teeth.
CHORUS:
Singing I will if you will so will I,
(repeat)
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I.
Oh she's got a lovely naval uniform ....
and a Scottish verse:
Ye cannae shove yer granny off a bus'
(repeat)
‘Cos she’s yer mammy’s mammy,
No ye cannae shove yer granny off a bus.
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