"Oh Mr Fisherman, fisher of the sea,
Have you a lobster you can sell to me?"
CHORUS:
Singing ro tiddly o, shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust.
"Yes sir, yes sir, I have two,
And the biggest of the bastards I will sell to you."
CHORUS:
So I took the lobster home and I couldn't find a dish,
So I put it in the pot where the missus has a piss.
CHORUS:
Early in the morning the missus she awoke,
She went into the corner to have a crafty poke.
CHORUS:
She gave a groan and then she gave a grunt,
There's a fuckin' lobster clinging to her cunt.
CHORUS:
(next verse sung in falsetto)
"Oh George dear, George dear, come down quick,
'Cos I've got a fuckin' Lobster where there should've been a prick!"
CHORUS:
Well I grabbed the brush and the missus grabbed the broom,
And we chased the fuckin' lobster round and round the room.
CHORUS:
Oh we hit it on the head and we hit in on the side,
And we hit the fuckin' lobster 'till the bastard died.
CHORUS:
There's a moral to this story, the moral is this,
Always have a shuftie before you have a piss.
CHORUS:
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