I bet Haydn never envisaged this!
Life presents a dismal picture,
All is trouble all is gloom.
Father's got an anal stricture,
Mother's got a fallen womb.
Sister Sue has been aborted,
For the forty-second time.
Brother Bill has been deported,
For a homosexual crime.
Nurse has chronic menstruation,
Never laughs and never smiles.
Mine's a dismal occupation
Cracking ice for Grandpa's piles.
Joe the postman called this morning,
Stuck his prick through the door.
We could-not despite endearment,
Get it out till half-past four.
Even now the baby's started,
Having epileptic fits.
Every time it coughs it spews,
Every time it farts it shits.
Yet we are not broken-hearted,
Neither are we up the spout,
Aunty Mabel has just farted,
Blown her arse hole inside out.
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