It fairly broke the family's heart When Lady Jane became a tart,
But blood is blood and race is race and so to save the family face,
They bought her an expensive flat with "Welcome" written on the mat.
It was not long ere Lady Jane brought her patrician charms to fame,
A clientele of sahibs pukka who regularly came to fuck her,
And it was rumored without malice she had a client at the palace.
No one could nestle in her charms unless he wore ancestral arms,
No one to her could gain an entry, unless he were of landed gentry,
And so before her sun had set she'd worked her way right through Debrett.
It grieved the family even more when Lady Anne became a whore,
But felt they couldn't do the same as they had done for Lady Jane,
They bought her an exclusive beat on the shady side of Jermyn Street.
It did not please the familys fancy when Montague became a nancy,
And so in order to protect him they had tattoed upon his rectum,
"All commoners must now go steerage, this passage is reserved for peerage."
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