Gentlemen should please refrain from flushing toilets,
While the train, is standing in the station, for a while;
We encourage contemplation, while the train is in the station,
Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile.
If you wish to pass some water, you should sing out for a porter,
Who will place a basin in the bog;
Tramps and hobos underneath, get it in the eye and teeth,
But that's what comes from being underdog.
Drinking while the train is moving, is another way of proving,
That control of eye and hand is sure;
We like our clients to be neat, So please don't wet upon the seat,
Or, even worse, don't splash upon the floor.
If the Ladies' Room be taken, do not feel the least forsaken,
Never show the sign of sad defeat;
Try the Gents across the hall, and if some man has felt the call,
He'll courteously relinquish you his seat.
If these efforts are in vain, then simply break the window pane,
This novel method's used by very few;
We go strolling through the park, a-goosing statues in the dark,
If Peter Pan can take it, why can't you?
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